Did you happen to see the illustration a few months back about the pastor who taught a valuable lesson to a complaining lady?
A lady came into the pastor and said that she was going to leave the church. When the pastor asked why she gave a list of issues involving many of the other members of the church. One lady was always gossiping, another was a hypocrite, the worship team wasn’t living consistent lives, and people were looking at their phones during the worship service.
In order to make a point the pastor tells the lady to walk around the church with a full glass of water without spilling a drop. When she returns without having spilled a drop the pastor moves in to make his point. He asks whether or not she had noticed any hypocrites, gossips, or people on their phone. And then he preaches his mini-sermon:
You were focused on the glass, to make sure you didn’t stumble and spill any water. It’s the same with our life. When we keep our eyes on Jesus, we don’t have time to see the mistakes of others. We will reach out a helping hand to them and concentrate on our own walk with the Lord.
There is much in this illustration which is helpful and I give a hearty “amen”. It is very much true that when we aren’t engaged in mission we are going to notice petty things. When we don’t believe in the power of the gospel and when our hearts are enthralled with something other than Jesus a critical and complaining spirit is one likely result (the other would be complete disengagement). So it is true that a lack of focus on Jesus will cause to not only notice but to focus upon inconsequential things and what other people are doing.
However, if pressed too far this would actually move us away from following Jesus. What I mean is that part of being a follower of Jesus is being another set of eyes for our fellow followers of Jesus. The Spirit within you is going to be grieved by the lack of Jesus focus in the life of someone else.
So if someone in your congregation isn’t Jesus focused they are going to be noticing silly things like what people are wearing, carpet colors, etc. They’ll also be focused on protection and preservation instead of gospel ministry. They need to hear the glass of water illustration. But if you truly are following Jesus and focused on discipleship, evangelism, and other kingdom building issues then you are going to notice the person who is focused on carpet colors instead of missions—and rightly so.
So what do you do when you find yourself discouraged because of the lack of gospel focus in your community?
You make the Psalms your own. Or you read through Habakkuk and other of the Minor Prophets. They teach us the language of lament. The most profound grief is often not that which directly impacts us but the sorrow of seeing others miss out on the Lord’s feast because they’ve sold their birthright for a pot of stew. These Scriptural authors give us language to process these painful times.
You can also receive great help from saints in the past who have experience similar grief. One in particular that I often find encouragement in is John Newton. Newton’s letter On Controversy has been balm to my soul so many times. If you find yourself at odds with someone because of a lack of gospel-centrality (and that is always the core of our divisions—somebody has moved away from Christ, and often both parties) then Newton outlines a couple options.
First, if the person you are differing with is a fellow believer in Jesus then take heart and remember that the Lord loves him/her and bears with them just as He must bear with you. Know that someday you’ll be fully on the same page and fully submitted to the Lordship of Christ. Long for that day when you’ll be fully united, and act and minister and love accordingly.
Secondly, if the person is not a believer (and you should be slow to make that pronouncement) then such a one desires our compassion and not our anger. We must realize that even though they perhaps “ought to know better” they do not know what they do.
Our goal, regardless of if the person we are engaged with is a believer or not, is to strive with them in the truth of the gospel but to do so with such a meekness as we instruct those who oppose the gospel. Those are valuable lessons I’ve learned from Newton.
Conclusion:
Finally, the same gospel which has saved you and captivated your heart is able to save and captivate them as well. The means that God uses to bring gospel-transformation is…the gospel. So keep humbly, lovingly, and passionately proclaiming the gospel. And when you are overcome with grief know that you are in good company. Our Lord also grieved as he looked upon Jerusalem and longed to gather them as a mother hen gathers his chicks. Carry your lament here.
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