Emotions are such a funny thing. And we’re not the greatest at reading them in other people. They also have a tendency to expose our own hearts. Real honest emotion is usually vulnerable. And how we respond to this vulnerability says quite a bit about us.
Take John 11:17-44 as an example. We read a couple times that Jesus is “deeply moved in his spirit” and that he is “greatly troubled”. This is also the passage where we see that “Jesus wept.”
But John uses a different word for “wept” as it pertains to Jesus than what he uses for Mary, Martha, and the Jews attending the funeral proceedings. Their weeping is the kind that is a public cry–it’s the deep mourning and lamentation. But it COULD also be performative. The word for Jesus–used only here–is a word that is more of the quiet hot tears. The kind that you can’t fake.
It takes boldness, bravery, authenticity, and yes vulnerability to weep differently than the crowd. Jesus does that. He’s entering into their grief more powerfully than any of the others in attendance.
But Jesus isn’t entirely quiet in this passage. The word that John uses for “deeply moved” is an intense word. It’s a word you’d use for someone snorting in anger. It’s indignation. Scholars debate exactly what Jesus is angry about…personally, I think it’s the whole situation. The death, the pain, the unbelief attending it, the performative mourning, just everything it means to be human in the face of death.
And John also says that He’s troubled in himself. He’s disturbed, unsettled, stirred up. He willingly enters into this sorrow of humanity. Jesus is wearing His emotions on His sleeve. Probably in such a way that He’d be rebuked by some well-meaning Chrsitians today.
And when people in attendance see Jesus expressing those emotions…the Son of God emotionally vulnerable…we see at least two responses. One response, “See how much he loved him…”
They are right….mostly. It is out of love that Jesus is responding as He does. But it’s so much more. They don’t understand the depth of His emotions. But they’ve named it and filed it away. Case closed.
But Jesus isn’t just reacting to personal loss. This is a confrontation with death and hell and all that is wrong with the world. He’s going to death punch death itself in the throat.
Today we can take comfort in Jesus being present with us in our grief. And that’s good. And right. And we can even camp there for a good long while. But we also shouldn’t read into His weeping with us the idea that “we’re in this thing together”. He is stooping to serve us with His tears…and they are 100% legit. BUT that’s not the whole story.
I think they missed the full impact of what Jesus was doing here, because they pigeon-holed Jesus in such a way that they didn’t let His whole story blossom in their minds. He was just “the guy who loved Lazarus.”
One way we respond to emotional vulnerability in others is by filling up their story with our own. We don’t know their whole story, so we borrow from ours—and call it understanding.
The second response to Jesus’ raw emotion is to take a shot at him. Their “question” (v37) isn’t really a question. it’s an accusation. It’s like saying, “You didn’t HAVE to be sad like this Jesus. You COULD have done something about this.”
And that’s another way we respond to emotional vulnerability even today. It’s used as an opportunity to pounce. “Your tears are the result of your failure.” Few would say that…but it’s underneath the questions.
We frame someone’s sadness as proof they failed. And we miss the holy strength it takes to feel deeply and still show up. Death wasn’t the end of this story. Even Lazarus being called out of the tomb isn’t the climax. It’ll be the resurrection of the Son of God which is the first fruits of our own.
If you miss that in Jesus you’re going to miss out on resurrection.
How should we respond to Jesus’ emotional vulnerability in a passage like this? What do those tears and indignation mean?
I’m not sure if Mary and Martha are 100% our model. But it’s the closest thing we’ve got. And it seems to be what John gives us. “Did I not tell you that if you believed you would see the glory of God?”
Put simply, we respond to those tears of Jesus with belief. With hope.
He’s gonna fix this isn’t, He?!?!?
And so I’m just wondering if maybe the emotional vulnerability of others might ought to invite a little more out of us. Rather than seeing those tears of a frail human, what if we saw in them the tears of Jesus.
He’s gonna fix this….isn’t, He?!?!?
Isn’t He?
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Photo by Mayank Dhanawade on Unsplash
