I’m so grateful for the things that I have learned in being trained for biblical counseling. I’m finding that if I can just apply them to myself it is such a great help to ministry. There are two pieces of counsel that I’m finding particularly helpful.
The first one is this little graphic put together by Paul Tripp from Instruments in the Redeemer’s Hands:
I’m continually attempted to push the arrows of the inner circle into the outer circle. There are so many things within pastoral ministry that I cannot control but I wish I could. There are even things which the church will expect of a pastor which he cannot control. At times the weight of this is almost too strong for me to bear. In those moments I’ve got to be intentional about writing out all of the things which are stressing me out. The stuff that is in the inner circle I work on. The things in the outer circle I pray about and entrust them to the Lord. It’s all I can do.
A pastor with an unbiblically small of an inner circle is likely lazy and not doing what God has called him to do. He will likely ineffective and might even find himself soon in the midst of a scandal. And unholy minister won’t make it long. Likewise, a pastor with an unbiblically large inner circle will fizzle out and soon become ineffective. If I want to keep from burnout and be an effective minister it is vital to remember these circles.
Secondly, pastoral ministry can often be foggy. I’m finding it more and more like Greek class. There are seasons when it seems like everything is coming together. It all makes sense. And then the professor introduces you to participles. Then nothing makes sense anymore. The whole thing is like a fog. Ministry is like this. Some seasons everything is working together and you can see God’s hand. At other times it is nothing but fog and issue after issue that you aren’t quite sure how to deal with them.
In the midst of fog (both of relational conflict and ministry situations) I’ve found this from Robert Jones to be immensely helpful. It is a simple principle that every Christian knows—but for some reason we usually don’t apply it to conflict. Here it is: Our all-consuming aim is to please God. Whenever I make that my goal in relational conflict it changes things. It gives me something to hone my eyes and heart upon. In his book,Pursuing Peace, Jones goes on to give nine implications of making pleasing God our goal.
- Failure to please God—our failure or the other person’s, or both—is the ultimate cause of all relational conflict
- This goal of pleasing God keeps our focus on God, not on the conflict issues or on the other person
- In Christ, this goal is always doable, no matter how the other person behaves
- This goal will help us pace our efforts (our energy, timing, risk, etc.)
- God might bless our efforts by brining reconciliation
- If both parties seek to please God, full reconciliation is guaranteed
- Even if the other person does not please God, we can experience God’s blessing and comfort
- We must continue our commitments to please God even if the other person does not, and even if the relationship gets worse
- When the goal of pleasing God governs us, the other person’s sins and failures become opportunities, not obstacles, to please God more and more, and to grow as a Christian.
Now to go practice what I preach…
