Dating the Future President

Geoff Box


“Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?” 2 Corinthians 6:14 ESV

Growing up in church, specifically in youth groups, I got the distinct impression that this verse had a very specific application: Don’t date an unbeliever! I was repeatedly informed that evangelistic dating doesn’t work, but is that the only proper application of this passage?

I’m convinced this verse (and the following 4 verses) has wider application. For example, yoking yourself to an unbeliever in a business deal which would necessarily tie your Christian name/reputation to the unbeliever may violate this command. What if your business partner proved to be dishonest and in doing so dragged your name (and thereby Christ’s) name through the mud? That isn’t to say that all business dealings with unbelievers are wrong; we simply must consider our actions in light of the biblical command not to be joined with unbelievers.

With election season in full gear, I can’t help but wonder if there are some similarities. If this verse has bearing on the way believers ought to conduct themselves in dating and business, then it likely applies to the political arena as well. If Christians actively promote a political candidate whose fruit is not in keeping with repentance, what does that communicate? Many believers, rightly, will not support a candidate who does not hold a pro-life position. But what about dishonesty? Crass talk? Vitriol? Intentionally overlooking the failings of “our” party while castigating the unrighteousness of the other is like refusing to date an unbeliever which we find unattractive only to go to prom with a different unbeliever who just so happens to be the homecoming queen.

We must consider how our political support and activism will reflect on Christ. If we yoke our name with that of a particular candidate there will be consequences to this. If he/she is elected into office by the support and promotion of Christians what will it communicate about Christ when “our” candidate enacts policy which is the polar opposite of our Christian conviction?

2 Corinthians 6:17 goes on to say, “Therefore go out from their midst, and be separate from them, says the Lord, and touch no unclean thing; then I will welcome you,”. While I’m not one to claim that Christians should be utterly disinterested and uninvolved in politics, we should take these verses seriously. Perhaps if we were to practice a little biblical separation, we would notice that it does our souls some good. Perhaps it would improve the reputation of the Church and her Groom. Perhaps following Scriptural commands might just change the world. It is long past time for Christians to unyoke from the world in many spheres, may we seek God’s help in consistently applying this Scripture to our lives.

7 Dangers of Embracing Mere Therapeutic Forgiveness

Mike Leake 18 Comments

I’ve been preaching the past couple weeks on forgiveness. In preparing I’ve found Chris Brauns’ work, Unpacking Forgiveness, to be immensely helpful. A position that I have held for awhile now is that forgiveness isn’t simply about us. We don’t forgive someone primarily because we release ourselves from some prison of bitterness. Though that is certainly a benefit—we forgive because God forgave us.

I’ve also held the position, for a while now, that there is a difference between the posture of forgiveness and actually living in reconciliation with someone. I can forgive you—as in, absorb the cost of your sin, not hold your sin against you, etc.. But I cannot fully forgive you—in the everything is reconciled since—until you repent. I’m convinced we have to hold this position as it relates to God’s forgiveness of us, otherwise we must embrace universalism.

Brauns does a phenomenal job of showing the difference between biblical forgiveness and what he terms therapeutic forgiveness. Therapeutic forgiveness is more the feeling of forgiving someone. Your forgive them in your heart or in your mind. It becomes “an emotion rather than a transaction or commitment between two parties”. (65) For me, I don’t believe the therapeutic forgiveness is absolutely wrong. I just believe it is incomplete. But when it becomes what we primarily mean by forgiveness then it becomes extremely unhelpful.

Brauns lists 7 problems we have when therapeutic forgiveness becomes our sole definition for forgiveness:

  1. It distorts people’s understanding of true forgiveness. To say that two offenders are equally forgiven when one repents and the other does not is to cheapen the beauty of reconciliation and true biblical forgiveness.
  2. It attempts to redefine how people understand God’s forgiveness. Forgiven people aren’t in hell, but therapeutic forgiveness would force us into that position.
  3. It suggests that some people may even need to forgive God.
  4. It results in ‘cheap grace’ and a reluctance to identify and name evil. “The church ought to identify and name evil, not declare that all must be unconditionally forgiven.
  5. It discourages healing in Christian community. Therapeutic forgiveness tends to make us “forget about relationships and move on”. The Bible calls us to something far more difficult—but far more glorious.
  6. It may make individuals feel licensed to avoid dealing with their own sin. “Working through forgiveness biblically will force us to wrestle with truth rather than only with feelings”
  7. It does not prepare us as Christians for the persecution and evil that we may face. How can you handle the real evil and speak about justice when forgiveness is merely an emotion we should grant to every offender?

We must be careful how we think through biblical forgiveness and how we counsel folks who have been sinned against. It is inevitable that we will need forgiveness and need to forgive. I’m finding that there are so few doctrines which are as grossly misunderstood. And certainly which aren’t as applied. I close with these words of JC Ryle:

Let these truths sink down deeply into our hearts. It is a melancholy fact that there are few Christian duties so little practiced as that of forgiveness. It is sad to see how much bitterness, unmercifulness, spite, harshness, and unkindness there is among men. Yet there are few duties so strongly enforced in the New Testament Scriptures as this duty is, and few the neglect of which so clearly shuts a man out of the kingdom of God.” (From here)

Let’s forgive one another as Christ forgave us—but let’s be sure when we do so we are walking in the forgiveness Scripture speaks of and not merely the forgiveness the Dr. Phil’s of our day encourage.

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Photo source: here

Today in Blogworld 08.24.16

Mike Leake

5 Words of Advice For Young Seminarians

This is sound.

When Jesus Brings a Sword

I appreciate Tim’s work in rightly interpreting and applying what Jesus meant by saying, “I have not come to bring peace, but a sword.”

Your First Breath After Death

I needed to read this today.

6 Terrible Ways to Recruit Volunteers

Here is how NOT to do it.

This might be the best dunk I’ve ever seen:

(Okay, I watched several more videos from here….this guy is amazing)

How to Live with the Unappeasable Unbeliever

Mike Leake 1 Comment

I remember as a young man hearing the plea of Rodney King. “Can’t we all just get along”. I think my generation really took this to heart. Part of the reason why you see some precious doctrines thrown out is motivated by a deep desire to get along. We assume from the Scriptures that Jesus’ primary call is for us to live in peace and so we conclude (quite wrongly) that anything which gets in the way of “getting along” is of the enemy.

But a strange thing has happened. As we’ve pulled up the anchors of biblical truth we are finding that the smooth waters aren’t so smooth. We live in a culture of outrage while we somehow say with straight face that we all just want to get along. We’ve actually become quite unappeasable. We will tolerate certain sins. But there are some things which are absolutely unforgivable; standing on truth being one of the most dastardly sins of all of them.

Believers who desire to believe God’s Word and to drop anchor there find ourselves in a strange spot. The Spirit of peace within us does desire to live at peace with everyone but our culture will have none of it until we lay down our offensive truths. They are, as 2 Timothy 3 predicted, quite unappeasable.

So what do you do? What do you do when someone absolutely refuses to live in peace with you—at least so long as you are hanging on to biblical truth?

I’m assuming here that you aren’t actually being a goober and holding onto the truth like a jerk. I’m assuming that you are being winsome and loving and properly seeking any forgiveness where you’ve sinned against this person. I’m assuming that your heart’s desire is for reconciliation and to live at peace with your neighbor, but he/she is unappeasable. No matter what you do this person is not going to be appeased.

Here are a few pointers:

    1. Don’t be surprised. Jesus said that we would have persecution. Paul told us that the lost world would become increasingly unappeasable. Heed the words of Peter and don’t be surprised by this fiery trial which has come upon you. Be prepared, even now.
    2. Pray for them. Jesus taught us to pray for those who persecute us. This includes those who refuse to forgive us (whether there is an actual offense or not). We can continue to pray that God will change their heart and they will embrace the forgiveness offered by Christ.
    3. Make every effort to life at peace. Continue to pursue reconciliation as much as is fitting. Work toward peace and reconciliation with this person. Keep the doors of communication open as much as possible. Keep serving and showing the love of Christ. Though they may not listen to your lips your life can speak volumes, so that by God’s grace they’ll hear what is coming from your lips.
    4. Don’t let bitterness creep in. When we ask for forgiveness and it isn’t granted that is painful. And any place in our heart which is holding onto pain is fertile ground for bitterness to grow. Likewise, if someone is persecuting us when we are innocent, look out for the roots of bitterness.
    5. Rest in God’s forgiveness of you. Perhaps you (or the other person) will die while this relationship is still fractured. Unless the heart of the unappeasable is changed you’ll never live in that reconciliation you desire. Until they too treasure God’s Word you won’t be able to “get along” on the most important matters of life. But their lack of forgiveness is not a determiner of God’s forgiveness of you. So rest in that which cannot be taken—in that which is steady and not shifting because of your union with Christ.

You are responsible for loving Jesus and sharing His truth with gentleness and respect. We are called to love others and to make every effort to live at peace. We are not called to sacrifice truth on the alter of “getting along”. The unappeasable—the culture of outrage—will always outrage, there is no amount of truth that you pour out on the altar which will ever appease their wrath. So don’t go down that path. Hang on to the truth of Jesus—the One who has already forgiven you.

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Photo source: here