Thanks for all that participated in the Note to Self: Giveaway. Joe Thorn has written a tremendously helpful book. A wonderful book that has been won by Bethany Wilhite.
All you other jokers will have to buy the book yourself.
Seriously, though, it’s well worth your ten bucks. Stop crying about not winning the book for free and go buy the book.
The LORD will be awesome against them; for he will famish all the gods of the earth, and to him shall bow down, each in its place, all the lands of the nations. (Zephaniah 2:11)
In the Lord’s war to dethrone idols and capture the heart of his bride there are few idols that are more alluring in our culture than sinful sex and pornography. In fact pornography/adultery/lust is so ensnaring and so deadly that whole chapters of Proverbs are dedicated to it. The typical advice isn’t “gird up yourself and fight this thing” it is usually “run away” (run towards Jesus).
To help us wage war in this battle the Lord has seen fit to provide the church with two recent books. These books are both excellent and will assist believers to do battle against porn.
Wired for Intimacy By William Struthers
Of the two books this one is more technical and more detailed. It is also more scientific than it is biblical (not to say that it is non-biblical). Struthers’ main thesis in this book is that pornography literally hi-jacks the brain. When men view pornography it creates a connection in their brain. This connection robs them of their own identity and it also objectifies women that are created in the image of God.
This book helps men to see that they are not only dealing with the present temptation to view pornography but they are dealing with an entrenched pattern in their brain. At a certain point you probably cannot simply say “no”. Your brain needs to be rewired. You need to start thinking of women differently.
As I read through, Wired for Intimacy, it helped me to understand things about my own journey and battle in this area. This is an area in my life that the Lord delivered me from years ago. But this book helps me to see that there is more to the battle than simply “don’t look at porn”. There is a rewiring of the brain that has to take place and a relearning of how to view members of the opposite sex. This book not only aims at convincing people that pornography is dangerous it also helps to identify the battle.
One area where I found this book somewhat weak is in the area of healing. There is a chapter dedicated to rewiring and sanctification. That chapter is helpful but in my opinion it is not complete. You almost need an entire book on rewiring. Or to put it another way you need a book on sexual detox…
Sexual Detox by Tim Challies
Tim Challies has written this book not to convince you that pornography is wrong but to “move you to believe biblical truth about sexuality and have these beliefs determine your decisions”. It is written to guys that are doing battle with pornography, hate it, and want to stop. It’s written for guys that want sexual detox and the healing that Struthers points to in his book.
Challies’ book is short and succinct, and that is one of it’s greatest perks. Guys need a resource that they can easily digest. They need something that they will remember and something that will be a part of them as they wage war. This book will help you do battle in those saner moments when you are not being bombarded with the temptation to lust. In fact this book will probably be used by the Lord to rewire your heart and brain in such a way that those bombardments are perhaps less violent.
The book has six short chapters that each have questions at the end. Thus making this book perfect for a small group of guys to go through or even one on one settings. It is an invaluable resource to the church. Challies does a tremendous job of being honest about the struggle and at the same time truthful in applying the Scriptures. He not only dethrones the idol of pornography but he also exalts the God-given gift of marital sex.
Summary:
If you only have the change to buy one of these books get Challies. It is such a tremendous resource. Pastors should order about ten copies of the book and keep them for counseling sessions. It is immensely helpful.
Buy Sexual Detox
UPDATE: There is a new book out by Heath Lambert, Finally Free, which looks really good. I have not yet read it in full–so I cannot review. But I would suggest buying that book as well.
Buy Finally Free
Last night as I was preparing my heart and mind for preaching the Word in the Sunday evening service the Lord laid a heavy dose of conviction on my heart. I found myself fervently praying for the preacher (myself), praying for faithfulness, praying that the gospel would go forth clearly, praying for what us preachers call “unction”. Then it hit me. I don’t pray like this when other people are preaching.
So I asked myself a few questions. Why do I not pray as fervently when others are preaching? What does that tell me about my heart and my passions? Do I care more about the spread of the gospel or my spread of the gospel?
Now I don’t want to be too hard on myself (if that’s possible). I do know that anytime you buy a White Honda you begin to notice everyone else in town that is driving a White Honda. When something is personal our eyes are more attentive and our hearts more fixated. I think it’s only natural that I would be fervently praying before my preaching—and probably more so than when somebody else is preaching.
However, this did serve as a rebuke to my heart and an encouragement to fervently pray for other pastors before they preach. I preach on Sunday evenings and our lead pastor Jason preaches on Sunday morning. This is a reminder for me to be very fervent in prayer for him not only throughout the week but also before he preaches. My passion ought to be for the gospel to go forth no matter who is preaching.
If you have followed this blog for any time you know that I am an avid reader. I read (sometimes simply skim read) a decent amount of books every year. Yet as one person has said, “my appetite for books does not match my ability to consume them”. There are more books that I would like to read than any human being would ever have time for.
Because of this I am becoming increasingly selective in what I will read. I break up my books in a few different categories. At any given time I am reading about 15-20 different books. Usually a few from each of these five categories
These do not include Scripture reading or commentaries. These are simply books that I am reading in addition to personal Scripture reading or preparing for sermons.
I am convinced that it is absolutely vital that we read both what is true and what is tender. If I look at a guys books shelf and all I see are theology books you can be pretty sure that he will be doctrinally savvy but will be pretty rough around the edges in his presentation of it. He needs to start reading and being around the tender.
The same goes for the guy whose bookshelf is littered with the practical, the tender, and the touching. He’ll be really fun to chat with, he’ll have lots of friends, but chances are he isn’t going to be able to really dig deep and think theologically about issues. He needs to make it a habit to also read the true alongside the tender.
If you aren’t a dedicated reader then I would just suggest to be sure you read 3 things at once. First, Scripture. Make sure you are reading God’s Word. Second and Third, read something true and something tender. (Of course the truth can be tender, and the tender can be true—I’m talking about emphasis).