Brothers, Let Our Attitudes Match Our Prayers

Mike Leake

Last week we began our Pray For Your Wife: 31 Day Challenge. The response has been tremendous. We have over 1,400 guys praying for their wives. As I think about the impact of this many guys praying for their wives—I can’t help but also think of 1 Peter 3:7.

Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.
(1 Peter 3:7 ESV)

For some, the first reading of that verse might evoke a slight chaffing. After all, we live in an age when saying things like “weaker vessel” is offensive. And there might be a reason for discomfort because let’s face it, some guys really can be jerks. And such jerky guys have used verses like 1 Peter 3:7 to promote their insecure theology. Offensive as it sounds I’m convinced that there is something beautiful in seeing our wives as the “weaker vessel”. Robert Rayburn explains:

Remember weaker” is being used in a context. A ming vase is weaker than a five dollar hammer; a Rembrandt canvas is weaker than a razor blade; and Mother Teresa was weaker than Mike Tyson! Peter is not talking about comparative worth, he is speaking of the reason why men have a special responsibility, laid upon them by their Creator, to show a particular regard for women and their wives in particular. It was not so long ago, even in secular Western societies that a man’s manhood was judged according to the way in which he protected and provided for the women in his life. Only a feminist ideologue surveying the wreckage of American society can really believe that the abandonment of this viewpoint has improved the lot of women and children.

Wives are a treasure that are given to husbands to nurture and care for.  The Lord love for His daughters is so mighty that He promises that husbands who do not treat them with care will be hindered in their prayer life.

I’ve known men (including myself) that have felt a darkness and a separation in our prayer life with the Lord.  I have felt my ability to pray (not to mention preach and write) hindered.  It’s like there is a big fat rock that stands between me and the Lord. 

My natural inclination to remove that rock is to get uber-spiritual. I’ll read a book on prayer, spend some time alone with the Lord, or I might even go so far as to fast. The boulder continues to stand between myself and the Lord. And it stays there because what I really need to do is stop being a bear to my wife. Instead of mourning and even praying about the separation, what I really need to do is go home and repent of my attitude and lack of nurturing my wife.

The 31 Day Challenge

While we are praying for our wives this month I think it’s important that we also remember to be tender with them. If we are praying for our wives to change and yet we are not treating them with honor, tenderness, and understanding our prayers will be hindered.  And they will be hindered until we actually begin treating them with honor, tenderness, and understanding. Might it be possible that our repentance before our wives will be the very thing that God uses to answer our prayers for them.

It’s not always the case that feelings of distance in our relationship with the Lord is because we have been blowing it as husbands.  But this is one of the few things in Scripture that the Lord promises will hinder our prayers.  And so if we feel a distance there it would do us well to analyze our level of tenderness towards our wives. 

As a side note to our married female readers: consider how much the Lord loves you that He would cause a hindrance in His relationship with your husband because your hubby is not nurturing you.  God cares for you mightily, so much that He rips up the conscience of us men until we begin treating you the way that we ought. 

May we not only pray for our wives this month but may we nurture our wives in such a way that the Lord will use us to answer those very prayers.

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Originally posted here in a slightly different format.  

Pray For Your Wife: 31 Day Challenge—Day Four

Mike Leake 9 Comments

I hope that you are having a blessed Lord’s day. I pray that God’s Word was faithfully preached in your church this morning, and that God’s Word is doing it’s work in your soul. Day four begins now. As always, remember to comment as a means of accountability.

Day Four: That She Would Have a Passion for God’s Word

Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; 2 but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night. –Psalm 1:1-2

If we want our wives to be blessed we should also want them to delight in God’s Word. It is not a coincidence that we are to wash our wives in the water of the Word. When all else fails—including us as husbands—the Word of God is the one thing that remains. One of the greatest things that can come from our prayer for our wives is that they would strengthen and develop an abiding love for God’s Word. Our passion is not merely that our wives would master the Word but that they would be mastered by the Word. Therefore, let us pray that God would give them a delight in His Word.

Lord, we thank you for your Word. I know that what will cause my wife to be blessed will be that she delights in your Word. Lord, I know that this is not something that comes from her—but this delight ultimately comes from you. So, God I pray that you would incline her heart to you. Help her to have a deep and abiding passion for your Word. I pray that you help her rejoice as she meditates on You as you reveal yourself in your Word. Give her a passion for your Word like she has never known before. I pray this that Christ may glorified, Amen.

Pray For Your Wife: 31 Day Challenge—Day Three

Mike Leake 10 Comments

Remember if you are only following the prayer challenge through the blog that you will need to comment on this post, either a prayer of your or a simple statement that says, “done”. This is so we can keep each other accountable.

Day Three: That Her Identity Would Be Found in Christ

“For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God.” -Colossians 3:3

Our wives have many things in their life that vie to shape their identities. Some will seek identity in physical appearance. Some will seek it in mothering or being a great wife. Others will seek it in Christian activity. Others will seek to find their identity in stuff. These are faulty foundations. Pray that our wives might find their identity solely in Christ. And that their identity in Christ would be the foundation for all of their other roles and passions.

Father, you are everything that we desire. You are perfect in all of your ways. I am amazed that you would so graciously hide us in Christ. Lord I pray that my wife’s identity would be shaped by all that Jesus is. May her life be hidden in You. May she believe that she is who You say that she is and not what the world, the flesh, or the devil says she is. Thank you that you have purchased our identity.

Pray For Your Wife: 31 Day Challenge—Day Two

Mike Leake 15 Comments

We had another 200 or so guys sign up yesterday, bringing our total to 1,250. I continue to be amazed at how the Lord is using this little challenge to further His glory and strengthen marriages.

Remember if you are only following the prayer challenge through the blog that you will need to comment on this post, either a prayer of your or a simple statement that says, “done”. This is so we can keep each other accountable.

Day Two: That she would not become weary in doing good

And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. –Galatians 6:9

In preparing our 31 days of prayer, I asked several ladies to give me things that they would love for their husbands to pray for them. One common theme was “that I wouldn’t become weary”. Brothers, our wives battle weariness. The only One that can sustain their weary hearts is the God that does not grow faint or weary (Isaiah 40:28-31). It is this same God that lovingly says to our wives and us to “come to me all you who are weary and heavy-laden and I will give you rest.” Brothers, let’s pray that our wives come to our burden-bearing Savior and find rest.

Lord, we know that you have created us to find rest in you. And we know that our hearts are restless until they find rest in you. I pray that you help my wife to fully rest in you. Rescue her from her weariness and renew her strength. Keep her from becoming weary in doing good. Father, forgive me for any time that I have added to my wife’s weariness and burdens instead of carrying them with and for her. Thank you for the rest that we will someday enjoy. Maranatha!