Have you ever noticed how couples who have been together for a long time begin to talk the same and almost even look the same? I noticed the other day when somebody was telling my wife and I a story our verbal response was exactly the same—even the same pitch and tone. This is one reason why it matters who you marry—you’re going to become like that person for better or worse.

We see this as well in Proverbs 9. The listener is being called to listen to Lady Wisdom or the Woman Folly. And just as in marriage which lady you pick is going to have an impact on the rest of your life. Whether you follow lady wisdom or the woman folly your life is going to be greatly impacted.

There are four chief differences that I see in the text.

1. Actions vs. Words

Lady Wisdom quietly builds a house and the woman folly talks her way into a household. Actions speak louder than words except when they don’t. It might be better to say that actions speak longer than words. Because we’re prone to believe the words of crafty serpents. But Lady Wisdom plays the long game. They way of folly is a way of talk. The way of wisdom is a way of action. 

2. Sustenance vs. Show

The woman folly knows that we are beholden to the temporary. We are like the cat that just cannot resist following a laser pointer. Stolen bread tastes sweeter and she knows it. And so she lures us with flash. Meanwhile Lady Wisdom is humbly and lovingly preparing a great banquet. She goes after what we really need. 

3. Intentional vs. Opportunistic 

You won’t get a job if you never put in your application. But that’s the path of the woman folly. She is reactive. But Lady Wisdom is active and intentional. One just sit at her house waiting for people come by. She’s a predator waiting to pounce. But Lady Wisdom actually pours her life into others and sends out disciples. One says, “Go and tell” the other says “come and see”.

You’ll never drift into the house of Lady Wisdom. If you’re there it’s because she has pursued you and rescued you. The woman folly is where we drift into.

4. Eternal vs. Temporary

This is really the biggest difference between the two. Would you rather have a small present right now or a big present later? Do you want the temporary pleasure of sin or the eternal joy of following the Lord? And because our hearts are given to that old adage that a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush we tend to go to the temporary. We don’t think much in the future. We want what we want and we want it now. And so even though it’s foolish to say, “I’ll take the dollar now, rather than the $100 later” we take the dollar. You see how the way of the woman folly ends in death. But the way of lady wisdom is a way of life. One follows the fleeting pleasures the other goes for the eternal.

Conclusion:

There is something interesting in Proverbs 9. Smack dab in the middle of the comparison of these two women is a discussion about scoffers. Why break up the text this way? Because it’s teaching us something. The scoffer is married to the woman folly.

What is a scoffer? I like Ray Ortlund’s explanation:

A scoffer is anyone who never accepts correction. He thinks other people really need his opinions. He is easily offended. He is above other people. And if someone seems to threaten his superiority, he scoffs. He mocks. He mouths off. He denigrates.

Or as another has said….”He is the person with the knowing wink and the clever phrase who has seen through the hollowness of everything.”

So really what this is doing is its serving as a sort of test to see which one is the pattern of our life. If we have a pattern of humbly receiving correction then it means we are partying at the house of lady wisdom. It means that we’ve been united to wisdom. But if we have the heart of a scoffer we are in a very dangerous place.

So which one have you gotten yourself hitched to? Is your life filled with empty words, flash, and the temporary? How do you respond to correction? Do you turn to the lucre of the temporary as evidence that things aren’t so bad? Or is your life marked by the deep waters of a life lived with Lady Wisdom?

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