If it weren’t for the necessary exercise I might try this diet.
You need an outside perspective
Great words from someone that has at times been an outside perspective for me.
Over-Scheduled Children and the Freedom of the Gospel
We must reject cultural expectations and invest our time differently.
To neglect any of these 6 things is to invite [Satan’s] presence and to welcome his influence. –Tim Challies
I’m pretty sure I’d face plant trying this:
(HT:22 Words)
“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. (Ephesians 5:25-33, ESV)
Parents (Dare I say it? Especially fathers!) feel an incredible need to protect, cherish and guard over our daughters. One of the scariest moments we face in life is entrusting the care and provision for our daughter into the hands of another man. After all, who could possible measure up to our standards, right? And yet, there is no joy like knowing that your daughter has found a man who is dedicated to loving her in a Christ-like manner, devoting himself to her care and wellbeing. This is something that we should be praying for our daughters of any age – newborn, teenager, or adult! One of the greatest blessings our daughter can find in this life is a man who will love her like Christ loved the church.
Father, it’s never easy for me to admit that I really have no control of my own over my daughter’s life. Her days are completely in your hands, as much in her marriage as in her health, growth and salvation. So I pray to you, the source and giver of every good gift, that you would provide my daughter with a godly man for a husband: a man who loves Christ first and won’t idolize her; a man who loves her so much more than himself; a man who will wash her with your word and cherish her every day. Please bless her with the wisdom to trust in you to provide such a man, if you so choose, and to not settle for anything less. Amen.
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Ryan Freeman is husband to Janis, father of Wesley, Jaedyn and Tobias, and a Deacon and founding member of Grace Fellowship Church of West Toronto. He is the president of Strider Search Marketing, a small online marketing firm serving SMBs, non-profits, and churches.
Wesley Freeman is the proud protector of his sister, Jaedyn, and cousins Susannah, Caitlyn, and Madalyn, and mentor to younger brother Tobias.
I always felt different from the other students in the Christian Studies Division at our school. They all seemed so put together. In truth many of them were.
Not me.
I was a new believer. The wounds from my past rebellion hadn’t even had a chance to heal. Likely because I kept reopening them by engaging in some of the same sins that I did before coming to Christ. I wanted so badly to fit in. To have it together. To be respected as a follower of Christ.
I did what all the other students were doing. I signed up for mission trips. I committed to lengthy quiet times. I swore off dating—or at least calling it dating. I tried doing all the stuff that I was supposed to do as a new Christian and I failed miserably.
The beauty of being simply forgiven was swallowed up by my failure of being a faithful disciple. Hanging my head in shame, I shuffled my feet into one of my many classes on youth ministry. An hour later I’d be darting out of the class with my head held high. What changed?
The Illustration
My professor gave an amazing illustration of grace and God’s unconditional love. He began, “This morning I had an unbelievable quiet time. I spent well over an hour with the Lord in prayer. When I finally opened up my Bible it was a time of sweet communion with the Lord. I called my wife, bought her flowers, and spent a good part of my afternoon serving her. I shared the gospel with three people at lunch. I played with my kids. I did everything that a good disciple is to do today.”
The class collectively rolled their eyes, wondering why this guy was telling us how awesome he was, but also knowing that he probably had some catchy illustration in here somewhere. He continued, “Yesterday was nothing like today. Yesterday I didn’t get out of bed until 10:15. I didn’t bother having a quiet time. In fact I doubt I even thought of the Lord today. I was angry with my wife, I ignored my kids. I yelled at people in traffic. I practically denied the Lord in every one of my actions yesterday.”
We all started feeling a little better about our day. Then he asked the question that would change my perspective and reorient me around grace. “On which day did God love me more”?
He proceeded to show us how the Lord’s love for us in Christ does not change based on our disposition. If he had the quote at his disposal he likely would have quoted John Bunyan:
I saw that it is not my good frame of heart that made my righteousness better, nor yet my bad frame that made my righteousness worse, for my righteousness IS Christ. Now my chains fell off indeed. My temptations fled away, and I lived sweetly at peace with God.
I felt as Bunyan did. Free. Ridiculously free in grace. That illustration was exactly what I needed.
Then it almost killed me.
The Turn
“Quiet times don’t matter,” I said confidently as my delight in Christ dwindled.
“God loves me whether or I obey today or not,” I said as I continued to be cold toward my wife.
“I’m hidden in Christ, every ounce of wrath has been drank by Christ, therefore it’s not such a big deal if I don’t share Christ with my neighbor,” I said in my head because a good Southern Baptist would never say that out loud.
I’d taken that very precious truth and hi-jacked it with sinful laziness. It’s true that my justification is not hinging on whether or not I have a quiet time. It’s also true that in one sense the Lord loves me whether I have a day filled with sin or righteousness.
But that is not all there is to say. God is not pleased with unrighteousness no matter if we are “hidden in Christ” or not. In fact because we are hidden in Christ he’ll likely deal with us as sons and discipline us.
What Samuel Rutherford says is true,
“[they idea that when a justified person] whores, swears, kills the innocent, denies the Lord Jesus, as did Peter, and David, God loves us as much as when they believe, pray,…and God is not a whit displeased with the Saints,…is to us abominable.” (Quoted from Mark Jones, Antinomianism, 84)
I foolishly thought that the Lord’s provision of grace equaled the Lord’s pleasure. It doesn’t. I was sleeping proudly in my justification while my spirit was wasting away. And no amount of telling me, “Look how free you are in the gospel” was going to make me do the one thing necessary—repent and get back to engaging in spiritual disciplines.
While celebrating one precious truth I found myself neglecting another. I was foolishly turning grace into license and I needed to be rebuked and warned.
This is why I’m concerned by an imbalance that I perceive in some of our gospel-centered rhetoric. In the next couple of days I hope to iron that out.
Day Thirteen: That she would learn to step out in faith
Isaiah 6:8 Also I heard the voice of the Lord, saying, Whom shall I send, and who will go for us? Then said I, Here am I; send me
Too often we are prone to go with the flow; following the crowd and trying our best to fit in. Jesus’ call to us is to follow Him no matter how we may be perceived or treated. This can be terrifying for us, especially for the young. We live in an age of conformity where our fashion, our music, our trends must conform to social norms or we are seen as odd. It takes great courage to step out in faith to live radically different for God. Even parents have a hard time allowing their kids to choose ministry over sports and academics, to choose missions over careers, and to choose to stand apart rather than fit is. Our daughters need courage and vision to stand up and step out for the sake of the Gospel.
Lord, I pray for my daughter, that you would inspire her, fill her with your Holy Spirit and empower her to stand up before you and say “Here am I, send me”. I pray that you equip her and surround her with your church so that she is well prepared to do the good works that you have prepared for her to do. Lead her, teach her, and live through her in every way that will bring you glory. Give her the humility and courage to decide that standing up for her faith and following you is more important than fitting in and being liked. Comfort her when she is persecuted, strengthen her when she is weak and protect her from the attacks of the enemy.
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Corey Whittaker has two teens and has been a Youth Pastor for over 20 years. He has an MA From Trinity School for Ministry in Youth Ministry and an MA from Liberty University in Counseling. He currently serves at Christ the King in Durham, NC as the Youth Pastor and various and sundry other roles.