Confessions of a Man Addicted to Distraction

Mike Leake 6 Comments

Hi. My name is Mike and I’m addicted to distraction.

I’m not sure when I first noticed the problem. Perhaps it was when…wait, I just got an email…perhaps it was when my little boy jolted me from my blank stare. I could hear the hurt in his voice. He was sharing his heart, telling me all about…wait, I need to update my Twitter feed…Where was I? Oh yeah, my son jolted me out of my blank stare and asked me if I was…wait, sorry, I just got a notification from Facebook….Anyways, my son was asking me…oh my goodness, I’m so sorry, my phone is ringing and I need to answer it.

I’m going to have to finish this later.

My name is Mike and I’m addicted to distraction.

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If that was frustrating to read, let me assure you it is even more frustrating to live. Even when I’m not doing all of those attention grabbing things (responding to email, updating Twitter, checking Feedly, etc.) I’m wondering about them in my mind. I know that the entire online world can change within moments. And you never know what’s going on unless you check. I will go hours without physically clocking in to the online world. I will ignore the beeps and buzzes coming from my iPad and tend to the real world. But in truth my heart is already there. I’m a distracted man. I can be physically unplugged but my mind and my heart haven’t unplugged. I’m thinking about the next article. The next tweet. The next book. The next email. And my family (especially my wife) knows that glassy look when I’m there but not really there.

I’m confident that the Lord knows that empty look as well. He knows when I’m opening His Word for the sake of being fed so that I can write an article. He knows when my prayer time is interrupted by a beep from Tweetdeck. And he is aware of when my heart is writing an email instead of sitting at the feet of Jesus.

I’m reading through David Wells book God in the Whirlwind. This quote floored me:

Would we prefer the illusion of a relationship via the virtual world, or do we want the real thing, which is face-to-face and flesh-and-blood? Would we prefer merely to have the pose of being Christian, living only with our appearances, or do we want the real thing, God himself?

The Heart of the Matter

The painful truth that I’m faced with is that social media is not the problem. My heart is. I’d distract myself with a box of Cheerios if that is all that I had. I’ve grown terrified of solitude. Of silence. I’m not even sure what I am running from anymore. I just know that my heart has an intense longing for distraction and it’s massively hindering my relationship with the Lord.

I wrote awhile back that some things require the gospel’s root work and axe work. Here’s what I’m considering as I attempt to see this idol topple in light of His glory. In order to uproot this dastardly idol I need to be honest with what is really going on in my heart. Why am I so distracted? Why can I not have a moment alone just savoring something in God’s good creation? What am I trying to avoid? What is it that I am pursuing by constantly being plugged in? Am I constantly “on” because I’m trying to please Jesus or prove something to my rebellious heart?

In one sense I doubt that I really want to know the answers to these questions. (Maybe that is why I am—in a terrible irony—writing this as a blog post). In another sense I’m encouraged by Richard Sibbes. “Conceal not your wounds, open all before him.” Jesus is a kind surgeon. And he’s rooting out these idols for my good and His glory. There is joy on the other side of a heart distracted.

Axe Work

Along with the root work there are disciplines that I want to put into place to start chopping at this idol. Here are a couple of ideas that I have:

  • 15 minutes of intentional silence and solitude every day from 9:45-10:00.
  • Specific times of shutting off email and all forms of social media throughout the day.
  • Schedule time for checking email instead of leaving it on all day. Actually apply this: 8 Email Mistakes You Make.
  • Schedule a lengthy period of detox. No email. No twitter. No blogging. Nothing.

That’s what I’ve got so far. Any other distraction addicts out there? How are you doing battle?

Today in Blogworld 01.29.14

Mike Leake

A Side to the Super Bowl You Won’t See

This is horrible and it happens every year.

Those Dragons Underneath Our Beds

I almost didn’t read this one because I wasn’t sure what it was about. This is about our expectations of God.

Is Cognitive Behavior Therapy From the Devil?

David Murray is interacting with Bob Kellemen on this issue.

How to Avoid a Cult of Personality

I apologize if the title has that Living Color song in your head all day as it did me. But this article by Zach Nielsen is really good so it was worth it.

Is this what happens when Keswick theology meets self-help?

Pray For Your Daughter: 31 Day Challenge—Day Twenty-Nine

Mike Leake

Day Twenty-Nine: That she would come without shame.

Come, all you who are thirsty, come to the waters; and you who have no money, come, buy and eat! Come, buy wine and milk without money and without cost. Isaiah 55:1

It’s possible to live an entire life struggling with the lie that you need to earn God’s love. It is so counterintuitive to think that God’s gift of salvation is free and that we are not forever bound by an outstanding debt. We don’t feel worthy to have been ransomed. But the weight that is lifted when we accept God’s gift is the most humbling and breaking experience we’ll encounter. Let us pray that our daughters would know this freedom.

Father, I thank you, with all of the words I can muster, that you beckon us to come! And not only do you ask us to come, but to come freely and without guilt. You give us more than we can ever earn and I pray that my daughter would know this freedom. Let her always find joy in your presence and find comfort at your feet, without shame. Thank you God for extending your hand. In Christ’s name, amen.

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Sarah Van Beveren is a wife and mother raising her three girls in Ontario, Canada. She’s a book and coffee lover who is currently in recovery for knowing it all. She’s also rocked by grace.

How I Prepare Our Small Group Studies

Mike Leake

I noted awhile back that our small groups have stopped doing “book studies”. I’m not against them and I think in a particular season they can be quite beneficial (see here). Today, I wanted to share how I prepare our small group studies. It’s quite simple and I think any church that wanted to do something similar could—with a little time—do this in their small group.

First, I provide a brief commentary on the major text that was preached on during the morning service. We don’t typically do topical sermons—but even when we do it’s not difficult to find a major text to do a brief commentary on.

Don’t be intimidated by the idea of writing a brief commentary on the text. It’s not terribly difficult to purchase a couple of the top commentaries on each book of the Bible. Pick a couple from Challies’ list or a couple of the Top 5 commentaries suggested by Ligonier. Wrestle with the text a little yourself, pour through a couple of commentaries, and do the best you can at explaining briefly what this text is all about*.

Second, I listen to the sermon (or look through my notes if I’m the one preaching) and write out 8-10 questions for the group to consider. Nothing too difficult, just basic question to help make the Bible practical.

Here are a few questions from our small groups discussion on Esther 2:22—3:15. The major point of the sermon was that God often turns seemingly small things into really big things.

  • What are some “small things” that happened in your life that turned into really big things?
  • What happens if we ignore the daily grind and only focus on the big things in life?
  • How does spiritual discipline fit into the truth that God works in the small things?
  • Do we trust God’s promises? How can we tell the real answer to that question? What does trusting God look like in the every day?

There were a couple other questions but that gives you an idea of the type of questions that I write. After the sermon I type these questions out and send them to all of our small group leaders along with my brief commentary.

I’m sure that things could be improved upon and I’d love any of your suggestions. But as of now this is how we do it and it seems to be of great benefit to our people.

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*Be sure to cite your sources don’t just cut and paste even if you think it will only be used by your tiny small group.