Borrowed Light

How To Protect Yourself From Nosey Christians

January 25, 2016Mike Leake 1 Comment

Are you annoyed by fellow-Christians being all up in your business? Would you like to just live life the way you want without having to deal with that nasty feeling you get when you are around those super-holy Christians? Tired of feeling judged?

If so, I’ve got great news for you. By using the Bible…yes that Bible…you can defend yourself against the onslaught of Christian conviction. Nobody likes to feel bad about themselves—and now you don’t have to.

There are three truths in the Bible that if applied appropriately will protect you from those nosy Christians always trying to make you somebody you are not.

Truth #1: Be You

Read Psalm 139:14 .

This means that God created you as a unique individual. It’s also solid biblical theology to say that you cannot relate to God as someone else. You must relate to God as you really are. So be who He created you to be and don’t try to be someone else. Authentically relate to the Lord and to others.

Most of those invasive Christians will agree with all of that—as they should, it’s biblical. But don’t stop there. Really drive this point home. Use that truth to say something like this:

I’m just going to be me. I don’t care what other people think of me. If they have a problem with me or my behavior or my choices then that is on them. I live my life and you live yours.

It’ll take more than this to quiet those aggressive Christians who hide behind the sham of “caring for you”. What you really need at this stage is to believe this truth yourself. You need to convince yourself that God is satisfied with you just exactly as you are. And he doesn’t want you to change one bit.

Truth #2: Avoid Toxic People

Read Philippians 4:8 , 2 Timothy 2:23 , Romans 16:17

Scripture tells us to set our minds on positive things. Likewise we are told to avoid certain types of people—among them those who are divisive and only seek to bring us down.

It is good biblical counsel to surround yourself with people who encourage your faith. And there are times when you need to distance yourself from toxic people.

And who is more toxic than a fellow Christian who is making you feel bad about yourself? You need to tell them and yourself something like this:

If you aren’t for me then I don’t need you. If you don’t approve of me and the choices I make then I don’t need you in my life. I’ve got to surround myself with positive people who are going to encourage me.

Shut those contrary voices out of your life. Remind yourself daily that a toxic person is one who leads you away from your “authentic self” (see #1).

Truth #3: Judge Not

Read Matthew 7:1-5

It is biblical truth that we should be more concerned with what we see in the mirror than what we see in someone else’s mirror. I should worry about my own relationship with God before I start picking at someone else’s life.

All you have to do is remind those prying Christians of this verse. Point them to Matthew 7and point out the log in their eye. They’ve likely got stuff in their own life they are dealing with—after all we are all sinners. Remind them of this and point out that since they aren’t Jesus they don’t have any right to ever judge you.

If you wholeheartedly believe these three truths and apply them in the way prescribed above you will erect an almost impenetrable force field for any believer to speak into your life. No more intrusive fellowship. No more inquisition. It’s just you and Jesus living the way you want to live.

And it all comes at the low introductory price* of shutting yourself off from those toxic people that didn’t like you for you anyways.

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*Legal disclaimer: After the low introductory price you will be charged monthly fees at a much higher rate. Having shut yourself off from these “toxic” people you’ll also be cutting ties with actual change and meaningful Christian fellowship.

Also, for legal purposes, I must mention that studies have found that these “bad feelings” are only shut out for a season. After time it will stop working. You can go back through these three steps but eventually they too will wear thin. You’ll have to engage in even more extreme measures to shut out Christian conviction—eventually even denying the One who bought you.

But, hey, it’s worth it! Nobody wants to feel bad about themselves.

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Original published here

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Today in Blogworld 1.25.16

January 25, 2016Mike Leake

Should Churches Perform Altar Calls?

This pretty well summarizes my view.

Become an Iceberg Pastor

I feel like I’ve linked to this before but it’s important enough to do so again.

Clarifications for Christ Centered Preaching

This isn’t what I thought it would be, but its still a good summary of what constitutes Christ-centered preaching.

Top 50 Hardest Places to be a Christian

Keep this a matter of prayer.

This looks so fun, and Jimmy Fallon is a super talented dude.

Brothers, Let’s Watch Our Diet

January 22, 2016Mike Leake

This isn’t a post about the need for pastors to hold back on the cheeseburgers. Though such a thing might be needed, I’m aiming at a different point.

In 1 Thessalonians 2:7-8 Paul says this:

But we were gentle among you, like a nursing mother taking care of her own children. So, being affectionately desirous of you, we were ready to share with you not only the gospel of God but also our own selves, because you had become very dear to us.

Certainly, such an image is meant to remind pastors that we ought to be gentle shepherds. Yes, at times our care for the flock will bring about a godly ferocity aimed at protecting the sheep. But for the most part we will care for our people as a nursing mother would care for her infant. And there is one aspect to this which I think is often missed; namely, mommy’s diet impacts baby.

I remember from when my wife was pregnant with our kids all of the different opinions out there on what a mother should and should not eat during pregnancy. Some will tell you to avoid caffeine others say you can eat about anything. I’m not foolish enough to enter into that debate—but I will say this, if mom isn’t healthy the baby is going to be impacted. More than anything the mother needs to make sure that she is eating a healthy and well-balanced diet. The better she is then the better she will be for her baby.

I think this applies to pastoral ministry as well. I believe this is, in part, something which can be drawn from Paul’s statement in 1 Thessalonians 2:8. If Paul wasn’t healthy then it wouldn’t be to their benefit for him to “share our own selves as well”. You really cannot separate the message from the messenger. It is true that the gospel is true whether the guy proclaiming it is a goober or not. But there isn’t such a neat and tidy break between gospel proclamation and gospel living.

This is why Richard Baxter says this:

They will likely feel when you have been much with God: that which is most on your hearts, is like to be most in their ears…when I let my heart grow cold, my preaching is cold; and when it is confused, my preaching is confused…We are the nurses of Christ’s little ones. If we forbear taking food ourselves, we shall famish them; it will soon be visible in their leanness, and dull discharge of their several duties. If we let our love decline, we are not like to raise up theirs…If we feed on unwholesome food, either errors or fruitless controversies, our hearers are like to fare the worse for it. (The Reformed Pastor, 61-62)

I’ve witnessed times in my study where I’ve spent an inordinate amount of time trying to untangle the mess of unimportant knots.. Almost without fail the fruit of such a thing is never good when I stand in the pulpit. But if I wrestle with a text and really feel it, and my heart is lively, then my preaching will be passionate. And when my preaching is passionate almost without fail ears will be won. Even if the ears are mocking.

Therefore, it is vital that we preachers spend a good deal of time working on our own diet. I want to spend a good amount of time in preparation working on my own heart and applying the text to my own soul. When I see the application for my own life it won’t be difficult to help the congregation see what it means for them as well. There are some knots which will only be untangled in heaven. And while it might be fun to give it knot untangling a whirl on occasion, I realize that I’m like a nursing mother who has to feed children. I need to get filled up myself. Controversy is only going to feed my pride.

Lollipops won’t do either. You know the places in Scripture you can go to get a chorus of “Amen’s”. You know where that low hanging fruit is where you can just put together a sermon in about twenty to thirty minutes that will please the crowd. And you also know that the people won’t be fed. If you spend most of your time feasting on lollipops your weak might be fun and it might not be filled with sweat—but you’ll starve your people as you starve yourself. Get into the text and let the Spirit do some soul work.

Eat healthy and you’ll preach healthy.

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