Day Thirteen: Serving One Another

In all things I have shown you that by working hard in this way we must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he himself said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’ –Acts 20:35

Paul’s philosophy of ministry—given to him by Jesus—was that there is more joy when our focus is on serving others instead of being served. Gary Chapman’s book The Five Love Languages has helped many couples understand how they give love and how they receive love. It’s very helpful. The only problem is that we are sinners who have a tendency to hijack good things and try to make them serve our fleshly desires. What can so often happen in marriages is that we focus on whether or not our partner is meeting our needs. But Jesus taught us a different way. We will be blessed if we decide today to not focus on our own needs but to focus on giving and serving our partner.

Father, your Son perfectly modeled for us a life of self-giving love. We know that it is because of His desire to give rather than receive that we even have an audience with you today. Lord, we humbly ask that you rip out of our hearts every selfish desire and replace it with Christ-like compassion and a burning desire to serve others; especially our spouse. Bring to our mind today tangible ways that we can serve one another and give us the boldness and perseverance to follow through. Amen.

Day Twelve: Sober-Minded

Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. –1 Peter 5:8

A healthy marriage will include a battle for our minds. We are bombarded by false information every day that tells us what a marriage should be. Men are told lies about who they are, and women must endure a barrage of identity shaping commercials and such. Most of the voices we hear on a given day come with forked-tongue. What’s worse is that sometimes we can speak serpentine language to our spouses. We must have a sober-mind so that we can build one another up and walk humbly in God’s truth. Even our prayers may be hindered without a sober-mind (1 Peter 4:7). Pray today that the fog of lies and conflict would lift and that we would both hear the voice of the Good Shepherd.

Lord, if you did not speak to us we could only hear the voice of deceit. But you have chosen to speak to us through Your Word. Your voice is powerful. You are able to cut through the fog of deceit and speak clearly to our hearts. We pray that you would help us to be sober-minded in our marriage. Protecting us from believing lies. Help us to build one another up and speak truth to each other. Give us ears to hear your voice. Amen.

Day Eleven: A Vibrant Marriage

Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, –Proverbs 5:18

Notice that this text does not say rejoice in your young wife. Instead the biblical writer is calling the wise to consistently look at their spouse with youthful eyes. This is not a call to find the fountain of youth but to pursue a vibrant marriage. When we choose to look at our spouses with the eyes of young love it changes things. I appreciate Ray Ortlund’s reflection on this passage:

Remember how you used to laugh and have fun, because you so liked each other?  You can have that again.  Go back there.  Yes, so much in life has changed.  You both have seen trouble and sorrow, maybe more than you ever dreamed you would.  But you still have her, and she counts for more than all the troubles in the world.  Look at her.  Look closely.  Notice how much about her has not changed.  Dwell on that.  Think about her faithfulness to you through the years, despite your weaknesses and failings, through the many hardships, all by the grace of God.  Meditate on the divine mercy she represents to you.  Let your heart melt again, and rejoice in God and in her.

This particular text and Ortlund’s reflections are centered on the husband. But the verse extends to wives as well. Let us continually work to keep our marriages vibrant and young—even into old age.

Father, we thank you for our marriage. Help our marriage to stay young even as it deepens with old age. You have given us one another as a precious gift. We are satisfied in one another. Give us the grace to see things as they rightly are. Help us to enjoy the spouse of our youth.