There is a type of writing which I keep seeing more and more. It’s written by a pastor—or a church growth guru—and it is written to inform the church about how hard of a job the pastor has. There is another type of article, similar to the first, where pastors speak to our fellow pastors encouraging them to not give up by acknowledging how tough we have it.
And if I’m being honest, I’m getting a bit fatigued with them…
Now don’t get me wrong, there are unique struggles to pastoral ministry. I’ve even written a few of the above articles myself. Being a pastor is tough, and sometimes I’ve been talked off the ledge by a fellow pastor identifying with the struggle and letting me know I’m not alone.
Consider the apostle Paul. We have much of his writing. Find the places when he gave a list of the difficulties attending ministry. Look for something similar to the articles we write. It’s tough. I found one. 2 Corinthians 11. In this chapter he gives a list of all the terrible stuff he has been through in his ministry. But you know what he called his list?
Foolishness.
He said he was speaking as a fool.
Brothers, this should give us pause. Might there be wisdom in not giving full vent to our frustrations? I see at least five negatives which can come from engaging in a pastoral festivus.
- It puts the pastor in a place of uniqueness and that is always dangerous. It isn’t hard to convince ourselves that our suffering is unique and nobody within our community will understand. When we do this we’ve allowed ourselves to drop into the dangerous pit of uniqueness. Your pastoral frustrations won’t get better in this lonely pit. They never do.
- It puts an unbiblical and unhelpful distance between you and the sheep you are supposed to shepherd. I think sometimes we write (or share) these articles because we want people in the congregation to understand our jobs aren’t as cozy as people might think. We don’t only work a couple hours per week. And it’s not just getting to sit in an office and play Angry Birds and study the Bible all day. But in our effort to do this we make our jobs out to be uniquely difficult. This puts a distance between us and the people we are ministering to. The guy who puts up sheet rock all day has a tough job too. And so does the lady who teaches 3rd graders. We’ve just got a different type of hard. Don’t play the game of “whose job is harder”. It’s a fools game that you don’t want to win.
- It communicates the wrong message. Write a list of all the things that are difficult about being a husband and father. Go home tonight and share that list with your family and tell them about the burden of being a husband and daddy. Then watch their hearts crush. When we communicate like this we are telling people they are a burden. Nobody wants to be a burden. They’ll be sure to relieve you of that burden—and any chance of a meaningful and vibrant relationship with them.
- It puts us in a position to continually disobey 1 Peter 5. We are called to serve not “unwillingly but under compulsion”. Somehow we’ve twisted this in such a way that we make it seem like we must be doing something right if we are miserable in ministry but still doing it because the Lord wants us here. No we are called to shepherd the flock of God willingly. You aren’t not “keeping it real” as a pastor just because you love your job.
- It perpetuates a false narrative. I’m convinced that lots of ministers walk around somewhat miserable and not bursting forth with joy simply because we assume ministry is supposed to be tough and terrible. We’ve rightly been trained to be realistic in ministry. Things are going to be hard. The work can be absolutely terrible at times. There are things which will rip your heart out. But we don’t do as good of a job of putting pastors in awe of what we get to do with our time. There are so many things about pastoral ministry that is amazing. There is a growing false narrative out there which would have us to believe serving the Lord of Glory doesn’t come with joy.
So what am I saying? I’m saying that when we start feeling like Asaph in Psalm 73 and we get really discouraged and we feel like we just have to vent…Or when we see there are other pastors out there who are going through tough things and we just want to help…I’m saying we should be like Asaph and not hit publish. At least most of the time.
Yes, we pastors need help. We need a place to go when we struggle. But I don’t believe the best place to do this is through writing or sharing articles. There are enough out there, and with our Google Machines I’m confident a weary pastor can find bread for his soul. Instead, let’s work on developing close relationships—maybe with fellow ministers. Let’s take our vent to the Lord. (There are also great things like this to help hurting pastors).
Let’s start writing, sharing, and reading articles about the joys of pastoral ministry. Even if you don’t have that in your present ministry—may these not be a cause to further embitter your spirit but to refocus your heart and cause it to leap for joy at the success of the gospel.
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I guess I’m not sure precisely what kind of article you have in mind here – you read blogs a lot more widely than I do.
But I think on primarily pastor-to-pastor blogs, posts by discouraged and struggling pastors serve a great purpose. Many pastors feel loneliness and isolation, and when they read that their experience is not unique, that others are sharing that burden, it is helpful.
The problem may be that a) we act as if these problems are unique to the ministry, that only pastors have hard jobs and b) we forget that people who aren’t pastors read the forums on which we write and it can come across as whining or complaining.
But pastors sharing their burdens and struggles with one another is a real blessing. Again, I’m just not sure the precise focus of this post and what kind of article is in view.
Dave, your a & b are my concerns. I’m saying we should be a little less frequent and loose with these. Maybe personal relationships are the answer and not blogging back and forth.