He looked as if he had accidentally been thrown into the dryer with a load of socks. His clothes were disheveled, his hair was unkempt and his eyes told the story of a man dizzied by life. Then he said it…
“I’m not sure that I’m supposed to be married to my wife”.
As I questioned his statement he gave a well-reasoned defense. He explained that he married his wife against the counsel of his parents, his pastor, and his Christian friends. They all reminded him that God’s Word says we are not to be unequally yoked to unbelievers. He ignored their counsel, went to Las Vegas, and eloped with the woman of his dreams.
His marriage was great for awhile. Then the fights started. Now he is miserable and he knows why. He believes that God has a plan for his life, a plan that is to give him hope and to cause him to prosper; a la Jeremiah 29:11.
Though there has been no infidelity, no abuse, no abandonment he believes that God honors his intention to divorce this woman that is making him miserable. He has prayed about it and believes that God has given him the stamp of approval because he began his marriage in sin—thus leaving God’s plan for his life. He reasons that the only way for him to get back on track is to divorce his wife; he cannot live another moment in sin.
So what do you tell him?
How do you know if you were supposed to be married to your spouse?
For the sake of full disclosure I need to tell you that I am happily married. I’ve never been in this guys situation. I have yet to be in a spot where I’m looking for a loophole and trying to get God’s approval to end my marriage. I love my wife deeply and if I found a loophole I would board it up.
But I have had to answer this question because of conversations similar to the one above. How do I know that God intended for me to marry my wife? How do I know that she is my “soul-mate” the one that God had planned for me?
My answer is simple. Are you ready for it…
I know that God intended for me to be married to my wife because…I’m married to my wife.
That’s it. No magic 8 ball. No twenty questions to determine if she is right for me. Once I said, “I do”, I forfeited the right to ask that question. Before our wedding- day I could ask questions of whether or not she is the right one for me. But after that day it’s out of the question.
If you are married you are called to love, serve, honor, and cherish your spouse. You don’t get to use God’s mysterious will as an out-clause.